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A Garden of Roses

180 Days

18 years, 2 schools, 2 degrees, 4 universities, 1 kid, 4 dogs and 5 cats later...
Have a purpose in thought--not to PROVE your thoughts, but to expand your thoughts.
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180 Things Teachers think
In honor of the standard 180 days that teachers work in a contract year, here is a list.

  1. My first day back. Am I ready? Are the kids ready? I missed them. I’m ready. Here they come.
  2. Wow, there are a lot of very cool kids in this classroom!
  3. Did he really just say that?
  4. Why isn’t the bell ringing yet?
  5. It’s been a good week.
  6. I am going to get so much done over the weekend!
  7. I’m so hungry, I’m certain my stomach can be heard across the room.
  8. Oh…so much to grade.
  9. I need a day off.
  10. These kids are so smart!
  11. I have to pee.
  12. Did she really just take my picture with her phone?
  13. Thank God I have become adept at reading chicken scratch. I think I can read anything.
  14. Wait. Nope. I can’t. He gets a zero. What IS that word?
  15. Coffee. Now.
  16. I need the copier and that jerk just sent 16 jobs remotely from her computer, all with 10-30 page lengths. I’m going to kill her.
  17. My parking space is gone. Again.
  18. My keys. Where are my keys?
  19. Shit.
  20. That little jerk stole my good pencil.
  21. Where is your book? Why don’t you ever bring your book?
  22. Wow. This essay was awesome. She really put some time into it. Impressive. I need to tell her.
  23. He’s driving me nuts!
  24. Wait a minute, I haven’t seen Jessica in about 2 days. I wonder where she is? I better call home and see if she’s doing ok.
  25. You want to do WHAT?
  26. Yes, I want to have a potluck too, but unfortunately, I have to teach you something tomorrow. We can’t just play all day.
  27. I need a movie day so I can catch up on all of this grading.
  28. Another assembly?
  29. I need a day off.
  30. Oh, thank God. A holiday.
  31. Another department meeting? What are we talking about this time?
  32. Does anyone read my emails?
  33. Wait—you want me to do WHAT? With what time in my already jam-packed day?
  34. Oh wow. This book was so good. I wonder how much money we have so I can get some for my classroom?
  35. Where is the principal? I need the principal. Why is she never in her office?
  36. No. You cannot go to the bathroom for the third time this period.
  37. I think I put on 2 different shoes. Son of a nutcracker. I did. Maybe I have an extra pair in my desk.
  38. Seriously?
  39. Is it Friday yet?
  40. How in the world did it get to be the 40th day already? I’m so far behind!
  41. 10 years ago, I could teach without a trace of technology. Now my computer won’t boot up, and I’m screwed! I have no backup plan! I need that projector on! Shit!
  42. Clean the tables, kids. I’m sick of your germs.
  43. The State said they wanted WHAT data, going HOW FAR BACK? Are you kidding me?
  44. Thank God for Educational Assistants.
  45. Please don’t leave a voicemail. I am not answering that phone.
  46. Email me instead!
  47. He has no idea what he is doing, does he? I better check on him.
  48. Have you washed your hands?
  49. She completely missed the point of this assignment.
  50. Wow. Can you PLEASE put some more effort in on the thinking part of this assignment?
  51. I need to get back to the drawing board. I must not be teaching them something right if they are all missing the point.
  52. Yes, we can do a potluck. In fact. Let’s plan a project around it. World cultures? Ah-ha. Food. I love it.
  53. YES! You did it! I’m so proud of you I could hug you!
  54. I LOVE this assignment. He did such a good job with it.
  55. I am never wearing these shoes again.
  56. Holy shit. It is so freaking cold in this room I am about to die.
  57. Oh my gosh, we have to get moving on this content. Time is running out.
  58. I finally finished grading that set of papers. I better get a crack on these.
  59. I need a beer.
  60. I need to call his mom. He is doing such a good job and he always gets the “bad” phone calls.
  61. I forgot my own book at home.
  62. This pen is so awesome. I love this pen. If I could use this pen on every single thing I ever wrote, I’d be a very happy person.
  63. Oh…she brought me cookies.
  64. I hope they are not having sex.
  65. Wow, her outfit is perfect. I have to steal that idea. I love that scarf.
  66. Oh man. She is crying again?
  67. No, you may not go to the bathroom again.
  68. Wait, I better let him go to the bathroom again. And then, in fact, get your kiester to the nurse and get the hell out of here. If I get sick with what you have…
  69. BLOW YOUR NOSE!
  70. If you do not stop talking, I am probably going to fall off the deep end and make a mistake I will regret.
  71. Christmas break is coming, I can do this.
  72. Just a few more days.
  73. Shit! I forgot to do X before I left for the day! I needed to get that done!
  74. I forgot deodorant today.
  75. I forgot my shower today.
  76. I don’t think I will ever shower again. Lord knows I haven’t cleaned my living room in about 4 months.
  77. I need to make a list.
  78. You want what from me before the break? I can’t possibly get that done. Do you think I am a Superhero?
  79. When was the last time I ate?
  80. I need a box of Kleenex with me at all times.
  81. Oh, sweet boy, I’d love to go to your basketball game. Thank you for asking.
  82. I can grade in the bleachers. He will never know the difference.
  83. I need wine. Lots of it.
  84. That belly laugh was just what I needed. You guys are the best.
  85. They have been so good. I need to reward them somehow.
  86. That last assignment was hard.
  87. I think they are ready for more state assessments.
  88. I really would like to finish reading this book.
  89. Why can’t I just get three minutes peace?
  90. When was the last time I cleaned out that filing cabinet?
  91. Oh look! Colored paper! An abundance of it! A project is coming right up!
  92. Why did my electric bill bounce?
  93. I’m pretty sure I have a flat tire.
  94. It is so hot in here.
  95. Something is wrong with AJ. Do I have time to find out what?
  96. Please don’t tell me I need to call the cops.
  97. There is a BEAR on campus?
  98. Another fire drill? Do you have any idea how cold it is outside?
  99. Yes, I have an extension cord. What are you going to do about it?
  100. Coffee. Now.
  101. I really need a day off.
  102. I think my cat misses me.
  103. I need to schedule a doctor’s appointment, a dentist appointment, get my oil changed, have the plumber come, buy new light bulbs, go grocery shopping, get my eyes checked, get my blood pressure checked, go skydiving, call the therapist because I’m cracking up…
  104. We have another assembly?
  105. Seriously?
  106. Is it spring break yet?
  107. When is lunch?
  108. Oh, I have to pee.
  109. I can't take it anymore.
  110. I love my job.
  111. I hate my job.
  112. When will this meeting be over?
  113. Where did I put my textbook?
  114. What page are we on?
  115. Yes, sweet boy, we are going to go over the homework.
  116. No. I will not give you an A because you turned in your paper.
  117. Yes, I did earn a degree.
  118. Two of them, in fact.
  119. I weep.
  120. Will you PLEASE grow up?
  121. Intellectualize something, people!
  122. Please. Just. Stop. Talking.
  123. Put away your phone.
  124. Put away your phone.
  125. Putawayyourphone.
  126. I never have to buy another pencil again, with all the forgotten ones I collect.
  127. No. You may NOT stand on the table.
  128. Are you throwing a temper tantrum?
  129. How OLD are you?
  130. I love meeting time-keepers. Thank God she's keeping time.
  131. I have 15 minutes to read this stack of papers, eat lunch, go to the bathroom, load my grades, take attendance and copy tomorrow's assignment. Easy. I can do it.
  132. Did I turn off the stove?
  133. Is there no tape available on this campus?
  134. Where is my dry erase marker?
  135. Why do I have 650 packets of post-its?
  136. I need the sun. I don't think I've seen the light of day in 3 weeks.
  137. How long until I can retire?
  138. Wow, this story is like my life.
  139. I have too many responsibilities. I think I want to go back to bed.
  140. Yes, you may go to the bathroom. Please don't ask me again. Just go. No, don't just go. I need to know where you are. I have responsibilities.
  141. I love my job.
  142. Would YOU Like to teach this class?
  143. This is like herding cats.
  144. Did you really just say that?
  145. How long before summer?
  146. Oh, please learn how to spell.
  147. I have a week to write your letter of recommendation? How kind of you to ask with so much time.
  148. "Screw your courage to the sticking place, and we SHALL NOT FAIL."
  149. Wait, what? I just crossed 5 things off my To Do List because they were done!
  150. I really need another cup of coffee.
  151. The Fire Marshal is coming AGAIN?
  152. The copier is down AGAIN?
  153. My computer won't turn on? AGAIN?
  154. It's more work to make sub plans. I'm going in and they can DEAL WITH IT.
  155. I am dying.
  156. She's so smart! I love the way her brain works!
  157. I would really like to take a long weekend, but I have so many papers to grade.
  158. I'm just going to write a "short" quiz...
  159. Can I get away with wearing a hat to school today?
  160. My head hurts. Does anyone have Tylenol?
  161. I must sort this stack of papers.
  162. How many trees have I killed this year?
  163. Today is going to be a GREAT day!
  164. I am going to miss this group so much.
  165. Graduation? Already?
  166. What is a Code Black again?
  167. Thank God for Fridays.
  168. I love testing. I love testing. I love testing.
  169. I hate testing.
  170. Can I find a lesson plan online?
  171. I am so excited about summer.
  172. I can do this!
  173. You can do this!
  174. WE can do this!
  175. Duty...groan...
  176. I wish my day really ended at 3:35.
  177. I'm beat.
  178. Can I get that in writing?
  179. I need a raise.
  180. You killed it this year. Good job.
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