When there is conflict all around you and a complete sense of disillusionment and a feeling that you can’t trust anyone, then maybe it is time to examine the source of that. You are, after all, the center of that. What about you could be to blame?
If you stop to rationally observe and realize that forces beyond your control are things causing this reaction in you, then perhaps you need to change your environment. If, however, in your reflections, you realize that it is you after all, then you need to take steps to make change.
Perhaps you relax your perspective. Perhaps you take a break. Perhaps you simply close your mouth—stop giving voice to the irritants. When we name them, we give them power. When we name them to coworkers, we give our coworkers power. When you say something to a coworker who then violates your trust, you lose control and your emotions begin to react to that new scenario. Slow down. Find the source of your discontent and plug the leak.
The hardest thing to rebound from is hatred. Hating your job can work like cancer in your blood. It is toxic and contagious. Find ways to love it again. Work harder. That seems counter-intuitive, but do more of the things you once enjoyed and seek the pleasure you once felt. Go back to your roots.
Avoid other toxic people like the plague. If it means polishing extra silverware, researching an extra market, writing a new report, or shoveling more manure, do it. Get yourself focused. Like Tommy Shelby said on Peaky Blinders when asked why he was doing grunt work, “to remind meself of who I’d be if I wasn’t who I am.” Get it back. Find your joy.
The problem is recognizing when distaste for a job has turned to contempt. If you are repeating, “I hate my job” as if it were a mantra, then the odds are, you hate it. It doesn’t mean it can’t get better from there, though. It just means you might have to work a little harder at finding joy.
In one job I had, I was always tired. I had anxiety after the night was over and often could not sleep. My legs were restless and my fingers always felt swollen. The work was hard and physically demanding, and I began to notice that I felt hunched over. My shoulders slumped because I was always in pain. It may have been that I needed new shoes, but it may also have been an attitude adjustment that was most necessary. That and a lot of ibuprofen. My attitude was lousy. I felt like I was working with greedy children and I could see ways to make things better, but I just came off as bossy and snappish and moody. I had to re-evaluate how I interacted with others and how I comported myself. Constant self-reflection is valuable, but can be frustrating, too. In the end, to figure out how to feel better, it might be a checklist of things that we have to do to figure out how to straighten our spine again.
When human interactions with coworkers are tense and superficial, and there isn’t a connection or a sense of depth, it can lead to frustration. Without a sense of trust and a sense of having a compadre, it can be stressful to complete a job. This stress can create a lack of desire to work hard. And it can lead to a breakdown of the team. You are only responsible for yourself. Well, unless you are the boss. Then you better figure something out.
Follow your own advice, too. You know yourself better than anyone knows you. Listen to the things you tell yourself and then hold yourself accountable. You are the first to criticize yourself and the first to beat yourself up. Why can’t you also be the first to cheer for yourself? Why not do something amazing, and then clap yourself on the back for having been successful at doing it.
Congratulate others, too. Notice when they work hard, do something new, or succeed at something they attempted. You would be surprised at how great that feels, and it may cause change in your own attitude. Even if no one else notices what you have accomplished or done, you did. Even if nobody else notices your colleague, you did. Growth will happen, and you just might find yourself looking forward to something at work. It just might be the jolt you need to find peace in your job again.
Wanted: a good set of sentences to grab you from the depths of the internet. I keep trying to catch your eye.