Self-Sabotage

I am a master at self-sabotage. 
I recently began teaching English to Foreign Language Learners through an online platform. It's been a lot of training and it's been more than a little intimidating. Yeah. I know. Intimidating...to me. Well, when you are working with people you can't see who may or may not understand a word you say, it can be a little, well, intimidating. 
I beat the first obstacle and learned to do the group messages. That was fun. I still was stressed when I would log in, but I realized that most of the time, we just laughed most of the time anyway. They were learning just through speaking, and there is extraordinary value in that. 
So the second obstacle was the PL, or Private Lesson. And this is video based. Oy vey. Stressful as F.  So, I had my first THREE today. I had opened my scheduling for a brief amount of time, and lo and behold, I have 3 sessions scheduled back to back in that time. 
I reviewed the process and procedures, and made sure my technology worked, I packed up my headphones...and then I put my computer in my desk and left it at school.
Sabotaged. 
Fortunately for my students, I had recently bought a Google Chromebook, but I thought it was not going to work out. But it did. So unfortunately for me, I had to rock those PLs. And I think I did. 
But now I need to figure out why I tried to sabotage my experience there. 
At any rate, homies, I am back. And I am ready to start killing this blog. Thanks for reading. Note to you: Don't sabotage yourself. It isn't worth it. 
E